Wednesday, 4 May 2016

German Soap update - Alles Was Zählt

As usual, Essen is smoking some special kind of German-soap-crack and nothing makes much sense at all.  Here's a run-down of current events along with some useful vocabulary....


Love and Marriage... and Sex Games
Vanessa, Christoph & Anne - photo: rtl.de

Vanessa and Christoph are preparing for their wedding, and everything's going super!

...of course it's not!  This is a soap!

Christoph's former band-mate and old flame, Anne, has turned up in timely fashion.  She's working alongside Vanessa, totally cool, irritatingly likeable and...not quite over Christoph.  Vanessa's great idea to side-step her own trust issues:  Encourage Christoph to get his lust for Anne out of his system with a one-night stand.

Christoph doesn't take the bait the first time, but is still not convinced that his fiancée trusts him, so Anne... wait for this... prepares a naked ambush to demonstrate to a hidden Vanessa that even an outright proposition from her won't tempt Christoph.

...so far this one appears to be working, but don't try this at home folks!  I sense that there's still an infidelity twist in this tale to come!
photo: rtl.de

Vocabulary

auf jemanden scharf sein = to have the hots for someone (slang)
scharf = hot (spicy - food)

das Flaschendrehspiel = spin the bottle
die Flasche = bottle
drehen = to turn
das Spiel = game

Schnick Schnack Schnuck = a game (very similar to Rock, Paper, Scissors)

kindisch = childish

der Junggesellenabschied = stag party

mit den Eier Ping Pong spielen = to play ping pong with (someone's) testicles


All is fair in Love and Ice Skating...
photo: rtl.de

Not terribly happy with being secretly drugged by Jenny, Marie has been looking for a new trainer: queue the return of Diana Sommer, star of AWZ when it first aired 10 years ago!

As Diana stole Jenny's boyfriend back in the day and took the German and World figure-skating titles with comparatively little experience and training, Jenny's not a big Diana fan.

So...she sets her current, recently-unestranged husband Veit the task of getting rid of Diana once and for all.  

Veit's idea?  To almost run Diana over with his car, and then warn her about "taking false steps" and "accidents happening" with a lack of subtlety that would make a Bond villain weep with despair!

Jenny, Michelle, Marie, Diana - photo: rtl.de

Vocabulary

Schmuddeltrulle - not an easy translation to find!  From what I can make out it means something akin to "skank", with "schmuddel" meaning "dirty" and "trulle" being slang similar to "ho" or "slag".  Lovely!

die Boshaftigkeit = viciousness, spitefulness

die schlimmsten Unfälle = the worst accidents
schlimm = bad
der Unfall = accident

falscher Schritt = wrong step
falsch = wrong
der Schritt = step, move

auf sich aufpassen = to look out for oneself


The Infidelity Tango
Lena, Ingo & Marian - photo: rtl.de

The easiest way to go through this mess is step-by-step...

Marian had a one night stand with wife Lena's best friend

Lena moves back in, to have Marian accuse her of having an affair with his best friend, Ingo.

Lena denies the affair...because it simply didn't happen.

Then, the night that Marian finally starts to believe her, she has sex with Ingo.  Whoops!

She comes clean immediately, Marian forgives her and they rekindle their romance with a night away in a hotel.  All going well until...they both realise that they find sex with one another boring now.

...No pleasing some people!


photo: rtl.de

Vocabulary

Bombe aussehen = to look great, to scrub up well

verkrampft = inhibited, tense

locker = casual, easy, laid-back

die Versöhnung = reconciliation

etwas versauen = to bugger something up.


Totally 100% fucked-up story of the week Award!!!
Kerstin & Deniz - photo: rtl.de

...of course this one involves Veit and Jenny again!

Jenny is concerned that she's messed up one too many times and isn't likely, at this stage, to inherit her parents' firm - not when there are so many square employees/partners about that are doing their jobs well and working hard!!

Veit's plan (conceived during some sensual chess playing):  to isolate those pesky work-horses by destroying their professional and personal respect for one another and prevent a scenario where they might side with one another against him and Jenny.

Makes sense!  It's the "how" that is truly fucked up!  They decide to convince Kerstin that co-worker Deniz is a "bit rapey" by sending a misoginistic email to her from his account (we'll detail that below in the vocabulary for you).  They then procede to DRUG HER and MAKE HER BELIEVE THAT SHE'S BEEN MOLESTED/RAPED by Deniz.  Wow!  Surely there might have been an easier/less mentally scarring method guys?

 (what is it with Jenny and drugging people!!)
photo: rtl.de

Vocabulary

nettes Rock, trägst du auch was darunter? = nice skirt, are you wearing anything underneath?
das Rock = skirt
tragen = to wear
nett = nice

eine Anmache = chat-up (line)

das Schach = chess

der Erbe = inheritance

die Gerüchte = rumours

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